I’ve been wanting to write this for a couple months now as a follow up to my previous entry way back in October. It’s just been crazy busy. It’s that crazy time of year with so many mixed emotions for many. And busyness reigns.
For me too, it does feel I’ve been hit with a fresh dose of chaos in my life. With some circumstances coming up make for a good amount of uncertainty in my life than otherwise. Sometimes it’s exciting, but sometimes it’s just tiring. Where it’s hard to hold onto any answers or come to any solid conclusions.
But enough of the excuses, here I am finally, writing this on the first day of Winter having sailed through Autumn like it didn’t happen.
Gutted! As Autumn is my favourite season.
However much I wish we had the feature – you can’t ‘live pause’ the Seasons. Regardless of however fast we move around each beat in the Rhythm of the seasons, it won’t change. It remains a steady, effortless rhythm. And from the Atom to the Solar System and everything in-between – everything has it’s own movement and rhythm.
Even our own breathing just happens to us without effort.
Autumn, I suppose is the exhale of Nature. It’s the season of dying. But it’s funny how it’s arguably the most beautiful of all seasons to witness.
Just as a leaf, full of all it’s vibrant colour and energy. Once confident, proud of it’s summer growth, now in pure disruption, chaos and uncertainty as it falls to the ground. It slowly disintegrates and is now formless as it’s life and energy breaks down into the soil. Enriching the soil for next season’s growth.
There’s a strange beauty isn’t there, in that dying is the same act of giving life.
The leaf can’t stop death. Just as we can’t bury uncertainty.
But it happens. Bad stuff happens. And it’s so hard.
I wonder though if the more we can just sit with the uncertainty. Accept the chaos. Allow it to happen rather than denying and trying to stop it. We might be surprised by the life giving possibilities that come from it.
It’s a risk though. Sitting in the moment is a vulnerable scary place to be. Because you have no idea what could happen next and past hurts and pain have a tight hold on you as always.
Who know’s how things will unravel..
How does this chaos resolve?
One thing for certain is that what is happening, is happening.
It is, what it is, what it is.
Just as the Beatles said:
“And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me speaking words of wisdom, let it be”
Painting by Wildflower Design