Ever felt like going in circles? This song was an outlet of frustration for me when I wrote it. After repeatedly going through the same struggles, I kinda felt like I was wadding through mud. I’m a bit of an introvert so I can overthink things pretty easily and make them way bigger than what they actually are. Making negative thoughts big in my life eventually turned into depression. Depression over nothing really specific either. Just a dull, numb inexplicable feeling.
I’ve been reading one of Stephen Fry’s books and of learning his battle with depression, which was/is certainly considerably worse than anything I’ve had to deal with. Listen to My Fry talk about his depression:
Listening to him talk about it though is quite confusing to me as I’m so used to him making me laugh with his brilliant witty genius! It outlines pretty heavily to me that anyone can be going through stuff you have no idea about, and gives me a little more patience for some people.
One of the things Fry links to depression is the sense of nothingness and no future. It’s like being locked in a padded room filled with mirrors so you can’t see past yourself. You can’t see your future, or your purpose for living. If you don’t have a sense of purpose, why bother?
I started writing this song in the midst of something like this, but also where I found someone, or should I say found me, who simply came alongside me.